⚠️ Disclaimer
Unofficial fan page. This site is just Jill’s friends making jokes on the internet. No training is sold here, no classes are booked, and Chic’s Beach CrossFit is not secretly hosting a side business. Dear management: please don’t kick Jill out. We really like this garage, and we promise to keep logging our suffering in PushPress (even when we complain about it).
BODY BY JILL
THE LAB EDITION
🧪 The Lab — tap for excuses
EARLY-MORNING OPEN GYM • FULL-SEND PROGRAMMING

Body by Jill

Jill writes the workouts for our early-morning crew. We show up. We complain. We ask, “Does open gym really not count?” The gym launches a 40-day challenge with a scoring rubric that needs a PhD—and zero points for Lab sessions.

See the BBJ 40-ish Day Challenge Meet the clients See the Lab photo
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Clients brave enough to admit they train here
1
Garage room (aka “The Lab”)
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Today’s Brutality Index
Jill mascot portrait
Jill (Coach / Programmer / Lab Warden)
Currently: pretending Murph is five months away while quietly sprinkling in “just a few” extra pull-ups and 400s “for no reason at all.”
🏃 “It’s not Murph prep… yet.”

Origin story: The Lab

Some people get a studio. We got… a garage.

Chic’s Beach CrossFit “banished” Jill and her crew to The Lab— a room that is basically a garage. It’s technically open gym. It’s functionally a small experiment in how much volume a human can tolerate before they start questioning the concept of “daily habits.”

  • Rule #1: Jill decides what “moderate” means. It rarely means moderate.
  • Rule #2: Lab sessions are open gym. The 40-day challenge says that’s worth zero points. We respectfully disagree.
  • Rule #3: Fist bumps are mandatory. Complaining about PushPress is encouraged. Making Joe give up alcohol is considered cruel and unusual.
  • Rule #4: If Jill says, “This isn’t Murph prep,” start counting pull-ups anyway.
“This workout is fine.”
—Everyone, lying, 10 minutes in
“Wait… open gym doesn’t count for the challenge?”
—The entire Lab, realizing their life choices
“We’re five months from Murph, so we’re going to ‘just’ build a base.”
—Jill, right before adding 100 pull-ups to a Tuesday

The BBJ 40-ish Day Counter-Challenge

The gym launched the 4.40 Challenge: log points, avoid alcohol, and hope someone understands the scoring. The Lab responded with something simpler, more honest, and slightly more dangerous.

Dates: Roughly the same as the official challenge, plus or minus a few days. Precision is for PushPress. We’re after consistency.

  • 1 pt – Show up to a Body By Jill session Yes, open gym counts.
    BBJ Patch Note: If you got out of bed, drove to the gym, and willingly entered The Lab, that’s worth more than zero points. This is non-negotiable.
  • 1 pt – Log your suffering somewhere PushPress, Wodify, group text, whiteboard photo…
    Accepted forms: official app, angry screenshot, text that says “what was that?!” Bonus emotional credit if you attempt to explain the rep scheme to another human.
  • 1 pt – Complain about the 4.40 scoring system Max 1 pt/day
    Valid entries include: “So open gym doesn’t count?”, “How many tracks do I log in?”, and “Why is there a separate line for gratitude and hydration?”
  • 1 pt – Encourage a fellow Lab member Text, fist bump, or “you’re not allowed to quit.”
    Cheering for someone mid-workout, replying to a sad barbell emoji, or telling Joe he definitely earned his beer all count.
  • 1 pt – “Reasonable” lifestyle choice Max 1 pt/day
    Examples: went to bed at a normal time, drank water before coffee, ate something green on purpose. No points removed for Joe having a drink. The Lab is realistic.
  • 1 pt – Voluntary Murph prep Pull-ups, running, or vest work
    Any deliberate “this will help future-me on Murph” action counts. Pull-ups, push-ups, runs, or wearing a vest when you didn’t have to. Mentally, this is worth negative points, but we’ll still give you +1.
  • –1 pt – Asking Jill, “Is this Murph prep?” Unlimited penalties
    Every time you say it out loud, she gets ideas. Please stop helping.
  • Scoring & Prize
    Add up your points at the end (rough math is fine). Everyone who survives wins: slightly better habits, slightly stronger legs, and front-row seats when Jill finally unveils the “official” Murph prep cycle three months early.
Official gym prize: $50 off membership. Unofficial Lab prize: the ability to walk up stairs in June without crying.

Success stories (aka: the survivors)

Clients of Jill: Joe, Bobby, Dani, Stacey, BigMike, Ashley, Chris, Courtney, Mel.

The Lab crew photo

A group shot to prove we showed up. Again.

Group mascot illustration
Pictured: Jill’s crew mid-recovery, moments before someone says “Let’s go heavier, it’ll help for Murph.”